Reflection after receiving my final marksheet (a reflection on life)

I wrote the reflection below about a year ago in my personal journal when I got my result (my combined marksheet) in my hands. That was the fruit of my years of hard work at University.

I was listening to Surah Al-Haqqah lately. There are a few verses (19-29) that striked me first when I was new in understanding Quran. That was the time my O-levels result was about to be announced. These were the verses which made me more curious on knowing what Quran has to say. These verses still has a similar effect.

Anyways when I read the surah this time,I could relate things. We are graduating and receiving our final marksheets. I could observe different views of students. Those who knew they will get the reward of their hardwork eventually and are now contented on the efforts they did since they sweated and stayed awake to achieve their goals.
And those who didn't use their time in a productive and effective manner. Didn't make meaningful use of their time and now they don't want to face the circumstances. They wasted the time and opportunities and now standing there with nothing much gained.
Their finances and older educational foundation didn't help them either. (Because gaining knowledge is the act of ones self. No one and nothing else can help us in this). They didn't understand their test and didn't make use of their time and blessings so couldn't gain much today and are left disappointed and regretful.

This is how life is. It is a test. Everything that happens, every occurrence, every blessing, every calamity, every individual and every phase of our life is a test.

(ٱلَّذِی خَلَقَ ٱلۡمَوۡتَ وَٱلۡحَیَوٰةَ لِیَبۡلُوَكُمۡ أَیُّكُمۡ أَحۡسَنُ عَمَلࣰاۚ وَهُوَ ٱلۡعَزِیزُ ٱلۡغَفُورُ)
[Surat Al-Mulk 2]

We are given a certain period of time in this world where we need to understand our purpose of creation, our reason of existence so that we can achieve personal excellence, our personal best (ahsan) in all our deeds/actions even relationships.
The dilemma is that we forget this test,our purpose of creation and our accountability and we don't look for the tools that can help us perform well in this test (achieve personal excellence). We don't gain that knowledge which will benefit us in this test.
We are accountable for our choices, our actions and that whether we used our blessings, potentials, intellect and wisdom to attain personal excellence or wasted our time and energies in meaningless activities. Since our actions are recorded,we will be answerable to our Lord (Rabb) for our deeds and will be given the reward accordingly in akhirah.
When we achieve this clarity,every thing we do is for the sake of our Lord and to please Him only. We achieve 'purity of intent' in this way. Then what matters most is our efforts we put in and not the 'end result'. Therefore we keep on striving even if we don't get our desired result. There is a contentment that our efforts are seen and acknowledged by our Lord.

(وَأَن لَّیۡسَ لِلۡإِنسَـٰنِ إِلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ ۝  وَأَنَّ سَعۡیَهُۥ سَوۡفَ یُرَىٰ ۝  ثُمَّ یُجۡزَىٰهُ ٱلۡجَزَاۤءَ ٱلۡأَوۡفَىٰ)
[Surat An-Najm 39 - 41]

That's why we are reminded to be patient and grateful in all situations and for the little blessings that we have Alhmdulillah. These two traits gives us motivation and power in every single test/phase of life.
And what further strengthen it is 'Dua' and 'Tawakkal'. I have strong belief in these two. Whatever is difficult for me is made easy through dua and incase I can't see the result of my duas I have 'Tawakkal' (faith) that my Lord is taking care of my affairs even if I'm unable to comprehend it. And it always turn out in my favor Alhmdulillah.

When we understand these few things our journey of life (which is an actual test) becomes easier. Then we will be from those who will attain real success that day in sha Allah.

My Daily To-do list

 Here is my daily "To-do list"(often serves as my check-list.).I keep on modifying it according to changes in my routine/habits:

• Self management
• Home organization and cleaning 
• Make bed first thing in the morning 
• Prayers on prescribe time ( with Khushu)
• Daily Quran

• Daily story telling  

• Daily read 

• Blog update  

• Daily reflective journal 
• Mother's healthy diet

•  Healthy meals  

• Father's chores
• Updating PTCC notes
• Updating halaqah notes (including quran halaqah)

• Be your best with your student.Use all your skills,resources and potential so she achieves her best.
• Share all your blessings with others.Look for opportunities to serve.

• Mindful ittib'a

•  Driving lessons 

•  Zero waste meals/lunch

•  Reflective conversations 

You may relate with some too.

(I usually write as I am talking to myself in reflections therefore I have used 'your' in above list.

Though above probably looks quite ideal,but this is how a perfectionist like me would assume things to be.Still most of the times I'm unable to follow all of it except a few,but this regularly serves as a reminder and a motivation so that I continue to strive towards personal excellence.

One thing that I remind myself daily with this list is something said by my mentor:
"Live an extraordinary life as Allah has created you extraordinary".
That is the reason we were given this life:
(ٱلَّذِی خَلَقَ ٱلۡمَوۡتَ وَٱلۡحَیَوٰةَ لِیَبۡلُوَكُمۡ أَیُّكُمۡ أَحۡسَنُ عَمَلࣰاۚ وَهُوَ ٱلۡعَزِیزُ ٱلۡغَفُورُ)
[Surat Al-Mulk 2]

A reflection on my earnings and spendings

Since I'm not working currently therefore I'm not earning much as a graduate would generally do and that though is not my focus either.Whatever I get is Alhmdulillah enough and contain barakah.
If I compare it with my similar earnings few years back,I can recall no matter how much I used to earn it just disappeared in a matter of days and I couldn't understand how.But now the situation is different.I feel it's all about intent and actions.
When we earn not for the sake of earning but for the sake of serving/giving (and giving for His sake)that small becomes enough with His mercy and now I reflect how I manage to do my planned tasks and even the unplanned things coming on my way with little in my hand.This gives me feelings of contentment,gratitude and sufficiency.
Alhmdulillah!
Now for me, this giving in itself is deep.It means giving priority to my relations when needed (one of the reasons I haven't put myself in a certain career yet after graduation).It means giving to my family,friends,the deserving ones,the needy,to some meaningful activities I'm working on and some to myself.All that given for His sake.
Once I was attending an event where the speaker said,"Sometimes it's beyond our understanding the concept of barakah and that how Allah multiplies/increases sadqa(something that we give) and its reward but we believe in His words."Now I can relate to this.
The concept of earning from "only" halal sources no matter how little and limited it is and taking care about the "source" of income is something I inherited and adopted from my father and he from his father.May be the reason barakah and contentment travelled in our generations. Alhmdulillah again.
But this post is not only about earning.Regarding spending,I made a few rules for myself.(I have this habit of making a long list of rules for myself).
These include spending on what's a "need" and not a "want",spending on things which don't leave much impact on environment (environment friendly),spending for a smile,spending to fulfil someone's need or to make them capable to do so and all these spendings should be meaningful and not to fulfil an impulsive urge.
But today when I was reflecting on my recent spendings,I realized that they were quite impulsive.I purchased a few dresses just because I couldn't let go of their designs(later I realized I could live without them,a not so good realization for a minimalist) besides I didn't even consider the environment factor while purchasing fabric knowing that purchasing new clothes every single time with plastic beads on them is is so wasteful and harmful for environment too.
Moreover I ate at an expensive ice-cream parlor with my family which could have been replaced by we learning to make it at home with some better ingredients in a fairly little cost and could save the cost for some more meaningful activities.This put me off a bit since I was striving since months to be less impulsive and to focus on "needs" over "wants" and being more meaningful.
Still,we are humans and often forget and slip.Although it's not a regret and I tried to overcome the effect by donating some older clothes and consoling myself that this shopping and eating out is only occasionally but it's still a learning for future so that I'd be more mindful in my spendings and will make it more meaningful and worthwhile.

Our first plantation experience

Last week,my younger brother attended a workshop on plantation. Though mostly I prefer self learning but this workshop was a good experience.

Since years, I couldn't get the chance to plant something probably because we lived in an apartment so I wasn't much motivated and honestly didn't even give it a try.
But this year,I finally added this in my "new year resolutions" to plant something and plant as much as "325" plants.

Now resolutions are something important to me.So from January,I was looking for plantation drives or purchasing plants but nothing worked.Until last weekend,when I finally registered my younger brother for the workshop.The learning from this experience was more than my expectations.

The venue was a daycare. A beautiful,quiet space made to accommodate kids needs. Therefore it was well facilitated with swings,games etc. and creatively decorated with beautiful quotes and patterns.(Heaven for an observant introvert who seeks peace).Me and my brother both admired it differently.There was a small lawn too with different species of plants where actually the workshop took place.

First step was story telling. We could recall a lot of terms and process we read in his science book.It was a small group setting and some children were as small as 3 years old.I loved their curiosity and intriguing questions.
Second step was pot painting.Since he only does this activity once in a while in his school,this was a good chance to try his hands on acrylic paint with whatever pattern he choses for his pot.
Third step was mixing compost and sand and adding them to respective pots.I liked this step,since kids prepared their pots by themselves and could touch and feel the sand.
Finally they added water and sowed seeds.The setting was done in a way that guardians and parents could observe the whole process with kids.
What I loved most was that kids took the ownership of their pots.My brother (Fahim) was pretty excited and curious on the way back asking what will happen next,how will the seed turn into plant and a long list of such questions.

Though I wasn't sure if the plant would grow in such a little sunlight.
But to my surprise,only a day after,we witnessed those tiny sprouts in the pot.Finally!!!
My happiness to this was unexplainable. I always wanted to plant something on my own and it was a dream come true. Alhmdulillah for these little blessings.

I could recall these ayahs from Surah Abasa: 
(فَلۡیَنظُرِ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنُ إِلَىٰ طَعَامِهِۦۤ ۝  أَنَّا صَبَبۡنَا ٱلۡمَاۤءَ صَبࣰّا ۝  ثُمَّ شَقَقۡنَا ٱلۡأَرۡضَ شَقࣰّا ۝  فَأَنۢبَتۡنَا فِیهَا حَبࣰّا ۝  وَعِنَبࣰا وَقَضۡبࣰا ۝  وَزَیۡتُونࣰا وَنَخۡلࣰا ۝  وَحَدَاۤىِٕقَ غُلۡبࣰا ۝  وَفَـٰكِهَةࣰ وَأَبࣰّا ۝  مَّتَـٰعࣰا لَّكُمۡ وَلِأَنۡعَـٰمِكُمۡ)

[Surat 'Abasa 24 - 32]

Fahim's excitement grew.We gave extra attention to those tiny seedlings.And I realized I was as excited as Fahim was.Several times a day we observed their size and growth.We checked if they have sufficient water and sunlight.Now the seedlings are gradually turning into a small plant.

Reflecting on this whole experience what I realized is that connecting to nature has its own merits.What we learn from nature cannot be learnt from books and other resources.Nature teaches us a variety of things.We would never knew how those parts of plants would actually look like until we observed it.The growth pattern of plants couldn't be learnt from a book,videos etc. in the same manner.The feelings of gratitude and happiness when the sprouts first appeared and when they turned into tiny seedlings were invaluable.This was a good initiative to reduce Fahim's screentime also.

In this fast paced life today,we need more such activities where we (and children) can connect with nature and enjoy these little blessings. 

Now we are looking forward to get more plants and Fahim is pretty excited to get some books on plantation so we can get some deeper understanding of the whole process.

Here are some of the pictures of seedlings and painted pots:

What I learnt in last 4 years

Here I have shared some of my learnings based on reflections during my academic years (particularly years in university and ERDC): 

·         No matters in what circumstances life put you in, accept the reality and accept your position (esp. if you can’t change it) and do your best in those situation/circumstances.

·         No matter if things goes against your wishes and you can’t change anything about it. Be grateful. Be happy. Look for ways in which you can create beauty in whatever you do with all the limited resources you have.

·         It doesn’t mean that nothing can be changed. Atleast we can change ourselves in positive. We can create/look for possible ways in difficult situations. Above is for the things not in our hands/control.

·         Do ihsaan in what you do. Make use of your qualities/potential. Use your skills and resources wisely(i.e. touch the skies with them).Remember Iqbal:”Sky is your limit”.

·         Use your qualities to ‘make’ others. Think why God has sent ‘you’ to them. So do your best to bring out the best in others.

·         Choose others happiness as you choose yours. Make things blissful and easier for others. Support others in the things they are passionate about.

·         Produce your personal best assignments. Be a mohsin for your mentors/teachers. Value their dertermination, hardwork and sacrifices. Value their assigned work. Produce your personal best output.

·         Learn from others. Learn from your surroundings, experiences and observations.

·         Money is not the criteria for success (academics success or any other life achievements).Faith and hard work is.

·         It is not even a criteria of a happy and contented life as our society mostly assumes. 

·         If you don’t love your work, don’t be cruel to yourself. 

·         Do good for the sake of Allah. Because He wants us to perform our personal best, to be good with others. Intent matters.
As it is mentioned in Surah Al Mulk:
(ٱلَّذِی خَلَقَ ٱلۡمَوۡتَ وَٱلۡحَیَوٰةَ لِیَبۡلُوَكُمۡ أَیُّكُمۡ أَحۡسَنُ عَمَلࣰاۚ وَهُوَ ٱلۡعَزِیزُ ٱلۡغَفُورُ)
There's one more ayah that I could recall :
(هَلۡ جَزَاۤءُ ٱلۡإِحۡسَـٰنِ إِلَّا ٱلۡإِحۡسَـٰنُ)

[Surat Ar-Rahman 60]

May be you could relate with some or disagree with some. You may share some of your learning too in the comments below. I would love to know :)