Reflection after receiving my final marksheet (a reflection on life)

I wrote the reflection below about a year ago in my personal journal when I got my result (my combined marksheet) in my hands. That was the fruit of my years of hard work at University.

I was listening to Surah Al-Haqqah lately. There are a few verses (19-29) that striked me first when I was new in understanding Quran. That was the time my O-levels result was about to be announced. These were the verses which made me more curious on knowing what Quran has to say. These verses still has a similar effect.

Anyways when I read the surah this time,I could relate things. We are graduating and receiving our final marksheets. I could observe different views of students. Those who knew they will get the reward of their hardwork eventually and are now contented on the efforts they did since they sweated and stayed awake to achieve their goals.
And those who didn't use their time in a productive and effective manner. Didn't make meaningful use of their time and now they don't want to face the circumstances. They wasted the time and opportunities and now standing there with nothing much gained.
Their finances and older educational foundation didn't help them either. (Because gaining knowledge is the act of ones self. No one and nothing else can help us in this). They didn't understand their test and didn't make use of their time and blessings so couldn't gain much today and are left disappointed and regretful.

This is how life is. It is a test. Everything that happens, every occurrence, every blessing, every calamity, every individual and every phase of our life is a test.

(ٱلَّذِی خَلَقَ ٱلۡمَوۡتَ وَٱلۡحَیَوٰةَ لِیَبۡلُوَكُمۡ أَیُّكُمۡ أَحۡسَنُ عَمَلࣰاۚ وَهُوَ ٱلۡعَزِیزُ ٱلۡغَفُورُ)
[Surat Al-Mulk 2]

We are given a certain period of time in this world where we need to understand our purpose of creation, our reason of existence so that we can achieve personal excellence, our personal best (ahsan) in all our deeds/actions even relationships.
The dilemma is that we forget this test,our purpose of creation and our accountability and we don't look for the tools that can help us perform well in this test (achieve personal excellence). We don't gain that knowledge which will benefit us in this test.
We are accountable for our choices, our actions and that whether we used our blessings, potentials, intellect and wisdom to attain personal excellence or wasted our time and energies in meaningless activities. Since our actions are recorded,we will be answerable to our Lord (Rabb) for our deeds and will be given the reward accordingly in akhirah.
When we achieve this clarity,every thing we do is for the sake of our Lord and to please Him only. We achieve 'purity of intent' in this way. Then what matters most is our efforts we put in and not the 'end result'. Therefore we keep on striving even if we don't get our desired result. There is a contentment that our efforts are seen and acknowledged by our Lord.

(وَأَن لَّیۡسَ لِلۡإِنسَـٰنِ إِلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ ۝  وَأَنَّ سَعۡیَهُۥ سَوۡفَ یُرَىٰ ۝  ثُمَّ یُجۡزَىٰهُ ٱلۡجَزَاۤءَ ٱلۡأَوۡفَىٰ)
[Surat An-Najm 39 - 41]

That's why we are reminded to be patient and grateful in all situations and for the little blessings that we have Alhmdulillah. These two traits gives us motivation and power in every single test/phase of life.
And what further strengthen it is 'Dua' and 'Tawakkal'. I have strong belief in these two. Whatever is difficult for me is made easy through dua and incase I can't see the result of my duas I have 'Tawakkal' (faith) that my Lord is taking care of my affairs even if I'm unable to comprehend it. And it always turn out in my favor Alhmdulillah.

When we understand these few things our journey of life (which is an actual test) becomes easier. Then we will be from those who will attain real success that day in sha Allah.

My Daily To-do list

 Here is my daily "To-do list"(often serves as my check-list.).I keep on modifying it according to changes in my routine/habits:

• Self management
• Home organization and cleaning 
• Make bed first thing in the morning 
• Prayers on prescribe time ( with Khushu)
• Daily Quran

• Daily story telling  

• Daily read 

• Blog update  

• Daily reflective journal 
• Mother's healthy diet

•  Healthy meals  

• Father's chores
• Updating PTCC notes
• Updating halaqah notes (including quran halaqah)

• Be your best with your student.Use all your skills,resources and potential so she achieves her best.
• Share all your blessings with others.Look for opportunities to serve.

• Mindful ittib'a

•  Driving lessons 

•  Zero waste meals/lunch

•  Reflective conversations 

You may relate with some too.

(I usually write as I am talking to myself in reflections therefore I have used 'your' in above list.

Though above probably looks quite ideal,but this is how a perfectionist like me would assume things to be.Still most of the times I'm unable to follow all of it except a few,but this regularly serves as a reminder and a motivation so that I continue to strive towards personal excellence.

One thing that I remind myself daily with this list is something said by my mentor:
"Live an extraordinary life as Allah has created you extraordinary".
That is the reason we were given this life:
(ٱلَّذِی خَلَقَ ٱلۡمَوۡتَ وَٱلۡحَیَوٰةَ لِیَبۡلُوَكُمۡ أَیُّكُمۡ أَحۡسَنُ عَمَلࣰاۚ وَهُوَ ٱلۡعَزِیزُ ٱلۡغَفُورُ)
[Surat Al-Mulk 2]

A reflection on my earnings and spendings

Since I'm not working currently therefore I'm not earning much as a graduate would generally do and that though is not my focus either.Whatever I get is Alhmdulillah enough and contain barakah.
If I compare it with my similar earnings few years back,I can recall no matter how much I used to earn it just disappeared in a matter of days and I couldn't understand how.But now the situation is different.I feel it's all about intent and actions.
When we earn not for the sake of earning but for the sake of serving/giving (and giving for His sake)that small becomes enough with His mercy and now I reflect how I manage to do my planned tasks and even the unplanned things coming on my way with little in my hand.This gives me feelings of contentment,gratitude and sufficiency.
Alhmdulillah!
Now for me, this giving in itself is deep.It means giving priority to my relations when needed (one of the reasons I haven't put myself in a certain career yet after graduation).It means giving to my family,friends,the deserving ones,the needy,to some meaningful activities I'm working on and some to myself.All that given for His sake.
Once I was attending an event where the speaker said,"Sometimes it's beyond our understanding the concept of barakah and that how Allah multiplies/increases sadqa(something that we give) and its reward but we believe in His words."Now I can relate to this.
The concept of earning from "only" halal sources no matter how little and limited it is and taking care about the "source" of income is something I inherited and adopted from my father and he from his father.May be the reason barakah and contentment travelled in our generations. Alhmdulillah again.
But this post is not only about earning.Regarding spending,I made a few rules for myself.(I have this habit of making a long list of rules for myself).
These include spending on what's a "need" and not a "want",spending on things which don't leave much impact on environment (environment friendly),spending for a smile,spending to fulfil someone's need or to make them capable to do so and all these spendings should be meaningful and not to fulfil an impulsive urge.
But today when I was reflecting on my recent spendings,I realized that they were quite impulsive.I purchased a few dresses just because I couldn't let go of their designs(later I realized I could live without them,a not so good realization for a minimalist) besides I didn't even consider the environment factor while purchasing fabric knowing that purchasing new clothes every single time with plastic beads on them is is so wasteful and harmful for environment too.
Moreover I ate at an expensive ice-cream parlor with my family which could have been replaced by we learning to make it at home with some better ingredients in a fairly little cost and could save the cost for some more meaningful activities.This put me off a bit since I was striving since months to be less impulsive and to focus on "needs" over "wants" and being more meaningful.
Still,we are humans and often forget and slip.Although it's not a regret and I tried to overcome the effect by donating some older clothes and consoling myself that this shopping and eating out is only occasionally but it's still a learning for future so that I'd be more mindful in my spendings and will make it more meaningful and worthwhile.